Great tips for keeping your move organized and as stress free as possible.

Kids and Relocation

Your family's move can be an exciting time for your children and for you. It can also be a stressful and sad time. Your child may have different feelings about your family's move: scared about going to a new school, excited about your new home, sad about leaving old friends or angry with you about moving.

Every year, one out of five American families move. One of the most important issues to anyone with kids is their reaction to the news that they're moving, and their adjustment to the new home. Being informed is very important to children. One of the worst mistakes we can make as adults is to assume that kids don't care or won't understand the details. Keeping them "in the loop," consulting them about choices whenever possible, and including them in the family game plan will work wonders toward their adjustment.

Helping Children of Different Ages Cope with Moving

Preschool children

Kids under the age of six may worry about being left behind, or being separated from their parents. If you go on an orientation or house-hunting trip beforehand without the children, it's important to reassure kids this age that you will be back; bring something unique back to them from the new town. It's very important for them to express their feelings and fears about the move. Give them a job to do -- have them be responsible for boxing up their favorite toys, and "labeling" their boxes with crayons and stickers.

Ages 6 to 12

Elementary age kids are usually most concerned with how the everyday routines of their lives are going to change. Showing them pictures, videos and magazines of their new home will help a lot, especially if you can find new places in advance for the things they like to do. If your child takes dance lessons, find & share information about the new dance studio she can go to. If he takes karate, or plays soccer or baseball... even if her favorite thing to do is the park or the pizza parlor, find these places in your new neighborhood and get brochures, pictures or videos.

Teenagers

These kids are most concerned with fitting in. They may react angrily to the move, even insist they're not going. This is usually due to the total lack of control they have over everything important in their lives-friends, school & jobs--being disrupted. These children can be very worried about making new friends, and what will be different in the new school. They are curious about the clothing, hairstyles, bicycles, cars, etc. that kids in the new city will have. Pictures of all these things are very helpful, so if you take an orientation trip be sure to take many detailed photos/videos of the schools they will be attending.

Other tips for making the transition

1. Give young children an entertaining travel kit for the move.
2. Give older children a diary for recording the trip & move.
3. Give children of all ages a special address book & stationary set for keeping up with old friends.
4. Take videos of the new home of the kids won't get to see it before the move.
5. Arrive well before the movers so kids can explore and become acquainted first.
6. Give children a chore to do, such as working on their room (younger), supervising little siblings (middle), and painting or arranging furniture (older kids).
7. Take a break with the family as soon as possible to explore the museums, sights and recreation in your new city.
8. Arrange a visit to new schools and a meeting with the teacher before the actual first day of attendance.
9. Encourage the children to bring new friends home.

Being the New Kid

What Parents Can Do To Help

Anne P. Copeland, Ph.D.; reprinted with permission from BR Anchor Publishing

Some children and teenagers love the chance to attend a new school and be the "new kid." They like feeling special and they like the fact that no one knew them when they had that awful short haircut, before they learned to read, or when they were overweight!

Other children find making the transition to a new school difficult. For them, friends are hard-won and not easily replaced. A crowd of new kids elicits shyness not excitement. These children react to this challenge as they do to many other transitions in their lives: with reluctance.

Childcare Checklist

Before making your decision about a child care provider, visit several facilities. The more you know, the easier your decision and the more comfortable you will feel making it. Below are questions and issues that you may want to discuss with a potential child care provider. Before an interview, print out the checklist and take it with you. If you have additional questions, add them to the list. Remember, you are the parent and you have the right to ask as many questions as you want. In addition to your interviews and instinct, listen to your child's opinions and feelings. They are equally important in your child care decision.

General Questions

Facility Atmosphere

Staff/Child Interaction

• Observe the interaction between the providers and the children - Does the staff seem happy and attentive to the children? Do they instill confidence in the children?
• Do the children get individualized attention?
• How does the staff physically handle the children?
• Are the providers the kind of people you would enjoy being with outside of the facility setting?
• How capable do the providers seem at being able to resolve conflicts between children?
• How long has the staff been working at the facility (average tenure of staff)?
• What is the staff-child ratio?
• Does the classroom staff have experience and skills in child-care methods and developmental learning?
• Are your questions, comments and visits welcome?
• Does the center have strict procedures for hiring caregivers?
• Are applicants interviewed by management, fingerprinted when required by state law and required to take a medical exam in compliance with state licensing regulations? Are background checks and written references mandatory?

Activities

• What is the emphasis of the activities? To have fun? To learn? Both?
• Are the learning programs designed for each age group?
• Are the educational programs designed to prepare a child for primary education?
• Do the activities emphasize physical fitness as well as mental development?
• How big are the activity groups?
• How noisy is it?
• Are the activities the kind your child enjoys?
• Are the toys used in the activities safe and appropriate for the children's ages?
• Do the children have sufficient rest?
• Will the children be watching television? If so, what programs and how much time each day?

Tuition/Fees/Rules

• What is the exact arrangement for payment?
• When are the fees due?
• Is there a charge if you pick your child up late?
• How much notice is required for your child to leave the facility?
• Does the facility provide financial assistance?
• Does the facility accept government subsidies?
• Does the facility provide receipts for income tax credits?
• Can you take a copy of the contract home in order to study it?

Emergencies

• How is the facility set up to handle emergencies?
• What are the procedures for contacting you?
• Is the staff CPR and First Aid certified?